Sarah is an elementary teacher, and I am a middle school teacher with a specific content area, so we definitely have different takes on it. Check out her blog post for her three strategies on how to set boundaries between work and home here.
Being a mom - be it stay at home, work from home, work part time, work full time - is no joke. There are so many different perspectives and strategies out there, it can get overwhelming.
When someone asked me how I tried to maintain that work and life balance, it made me step back and think, "How do I keep from going insane? How do I keep on top of it?"
This is pretty much me on afternoons after school when I do have to get things for work done - I am on the couch working, and Julian will be playing here or in his room - I can still be nearby and get things done.
Tote: Crab & Cleek (I had mine customized to say DEN on the other side! Perfect teacher bag) • Fleece: Dudley Stephens via Tuckernuck • Leggings: Nordstrom • Slippers: LL Bean.
First, a little background: this is my eleventh year of teaching. Excluding the two years of college, I have always taught middle school and I LOVE it. Seventh graders are hilarious and awkward and it's so much fun to teach them and see them figuring things out, like dating. Middle school "dating" is so silly, and I tell my kids that their version of dating is a hug in the hallway between class, and then they giggle and blush because it's true.
Which brings me to how I maintain that balance with work and home. My approach is more thematic:
1) KNOW YOUR NICHE, AND KNOW YOURSELF.
I always play with the idea of teaching high school, if only for that academic challenge, and maybe a different age group. I have even applied to high school jobs in the past. But with Julian being little, I want to be present for him when I come home at the end of the day; now that he is going to preschool next year, I want to be able to support my kids at school and do things like play the Hollaback Girl/Black Death parody to teach my students about the Black Death, but I want to support and be with Julian when I am at home.
That is why I switched from Special Education to Social Studies when I moved out to Colorado - I was burnt out. I almost quit teaching because I was so demoralized and overwhelmed. I decided to give it another shot, and admit that while I love teaching, I also need to focus on myself.
I love teaching my content area - 7th grade is World History and Geography of the Eastern Hemisphere, and that is my JAM. Each grade level is different at the secondary level; I have told my principal point blank to never put me in the 8th grade because to me, American History is boring and it means I would have to start all over again with making lesson plans and a new curriculum.
Since I want to be able to be with Julian and maximize my time with him after school, I do not stay after school. I tried it. It sucks. I am such a morning person, I would rather leave the house to get to my school at 6:30AM, and then I get about an extra hour of time to get myself ready and do a few things for my classes. I have always been that way - I would register for the 8:30AM classes in college, and leave my house for the 1 hour long commute at 6:30 so I would get there to have that extra hour.
2) SOME THINGS WON'T GET DONE (IN A TIMELY MANNER). AND THAT IS OK.
This is something that I have struggled to accept. I try to keep on top of house, work, Julian, grades, meetings, and then I get burnt out. I don't let things go completely (I can't; I am too Type A and my Enneagram Type is 3, The Achiever, and I am also 3 wing 2, The Helper); but I am come up with a few strategies that ease my anxiousness about things like a messy house and being prepared.
I have given up on the fact that I will come home to a made bed in my bedroom, but you bet I will make sure that the pillows on the couch in the loft and living room are just so, and that Julian's toys are at least piled in a corner as opposed to all over the place.
Work wise, I am at a point in my career where if things go crazy, I can open my Google Drive and I have the materials for what I need because it is all set and ready to go. But that took me about 9-10 years! Right now, I am happy where I am, even if it took awhile for me to get there. And I plan to stay here for a good while.
I also know that every January through March, I fall behind with my grading. It never fails. I just hate doing it, and it piles up. What I usually end up doing is when I still have energy and that feeling of revitalization after Winter Break, I grade grade grade and keep on top of it, which gives me a cushion for when I fall behind. My district has online grades, and parents and students can see it - the theory for me is that if I have 10 assignments in the gradebook already and then fall behind for a week, I have some wiggle room. So far, it's worked. Is it ideal? No. But I am not perfect. I am human.
3) PREP WORK.
Routine, routine, routine is the name of the game for me. I actually have 3 home routines - one to prepare for the week, one for when Mel is on a business trip (and then I am in charge of the morning drop off and getting Julian ready), and then one for when Mel is home.
On Sundays, Mel and I do a lot of meal prep; I do my breakfast and lunch for the week since I leave so early, I usually eat breakfast at school. I like the "grab and go" approach; I portion out my lunches into Tupperware for each day along with yogurt for breakfast, and each weeknight as we clean up after dinner, I put the my breakfast, lunch, yogurt, snack, and La Croix all together in one spot of the fridge that way I can just go to one spot as opposed to digging through it.
Our coffee maker is programmed, and I lay out both of our coffee mugs, Julian's water bottle, his milk sippy cup for the morning and a can of Ollie's cat food with the dish and fork, all ready to go. Mel usually preps Adele's dog food at dinner for that night and also for breakfast the next day (it gets covered in saran wrap).
On Sundays after Mel folds the laundry (I hate folding, he can do it with boarding school precision), I take what I want for the week, and also what Julian needs; I place my outfits complete with accessories on a hanger in order from Monday through Friday, and then I stack Julian's clothes on his bathroom counter in order and place his socks and such next to it. This is all to prevent thinking and wasting time in the morning - it also means there is less laundry to actually put away!
I could go into a whole other post about my school routines and class management. I spend about a week at the start and then the first month of school reinforcing those routines in the context of what we do in class. I have a routine for my student's notebooks, and then one for Google Classroom and our digital notebooks. It is SUCH a pain to get 158 kids to log on to Google Classroom and their digital notebook during those weeks, but it pays off so much: now I just say, "Open your DigiNote!" or "Paste this divider into your notebook!" and they know exactly what to do.
4) DELEGATE AND SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS.
This one is definitely work related to make my home life less stressful. At school, I have a "Help Wanted" board with class jobs - things like Passer and Collector. I change them up once a quarter and it means while I am giving class announcements or working with a student one on one, those assignments are passed out/collected, among other things, and I can shift my focus to the kid that needs something to be read to him or her because he/she has "Text to Speech" as an accommodation in the IEP.
I set clear expectations when it comes to assignments to help me make the grading faster; for my students' last assessment which was 4 short response questions, I gave a specific guideline on what would be a 4, 3, 2, or 1 which is the type of grading we use. So that means when I go back and look at their responses, I can see if they met those expectations within the content that I am assessing. Since those expectations were clarified in advance, it saves me time when I give feedback.
I also set expectations when it comes to communication: at the beginning of the year in my class syllabus and routines lesson, I tell my students (and their parents via the syllabus) that I will most likely NOT respond to an email if I get it after 6PM. Being 7th graders, the kids ask me, "Well what if I send it like at 6:01?" and I say that it is more along the lines of a student sending me an email at 8PM and expecting a response ASAP.
It's on a case by case basis; my work email does go to my phone and if I see that something needs a response, I will respond, but I usually do it on my phone because it has that "Sent from my iPhone" signature and its sends the covert message of "I am not really at my computer now." If it's a complicated answer, I usually write back, "See me during study hall," so that the student knows I saw it and I have an answer, I am just not dealing with it at the moment.
What I also do is specifically state in my class syllabus that I will "endeavor to respond within 24 hours, excluding weekends and school breaks." I drew the line in the sand this year - unless it is a really dire email (or something I can deal with while I am on the go in 30 seconds), I am not responding to work emails on the weekend. Or school breaks. Nope. The weekend is my time. Unless it's a big lesson that requires some prep work or something new, I do not bring work home either. I might get a little grading done (particularly assignments that are digital via Google Classroom; I leave the paper stuff at school).
Talking this through with Sarah and writing this post was a lot of fun, but I can tell that I have only skimmed the surface. I hope there were a few tidbits and takeaways for you; let me know if you want more details and information!
I am super excited to talk more about this because it just opens up so many other topics to discuss and think about with others: how I have evolved as a parent and a teacher, what I wish I knew when I was a first year teacher and more.
No comments